September 01, 2009

Everything happens for a RAISIN.

Sometimes I wake up and I momentarily forget that I'm an ocean away from home. For the first eight months all my dreams revolved around my old everythings -- old friends, old homes, old routines. In March I was strolling through the bird park. In April I danced through departure. In June I was with you.

Sometimes when I wake up, remembering reality becomes a relief. The process begins and it gets whispered into my ear that leaving is a good thing, the best thing perhaps. But sometimes, when I remember it all, I willingly admit it's a shitty disappointment. That's what it is like these days.

Everybody asks about Now, and I can never quite find the words to explain it. Life is good. I miss home terribly, but I'm getting by here. There are a handful of beautiful people I keep in my pocket, and everyone else shuffles past with their neon rave pants and odd ways of thinking. It's sort of reassuring, but I've forgotten how to scream.

Gabrielle (left) and I at Harry's party last September. I can't believe it's been a year since we sat by the pool and swayed to Coldplay and fiddled with his Lord of the Rings silver pewter chess set. If I listen carefully I can still hear Soulja Boy in the background and the sounds of their feet as they attempt to superman dat Robocop. This photograph was taken just moments before Sam and Stefano bellyflopped and drenched my camera with chlorinated water and droplets of nonexistent clarity. They say those were the good old days.

Three hundred and sixty five sometimes only feels like one.

Holy macaroni, this is long. Sorry for the frivolous sap post. I swear this is only because I'm talking nostalgia with Gabs, and I don't have Aaron to complain to tonight. Aaron Coelho, come back from biology camp. Who else will lecture me for using up a day's worth of hot water?

On a brighter note, it's the first day of spring, and Chelsea beat Burnley 3-0. Hahaha. Life is great.


  1. awww, i do love you nicole! i can't believe it's been that long (moreover, i can't believe I've survived!?)
    we need more rants like today, i feel so uplifted. and to think, i used to be able to get that every lunch time.

    i miss you, coco rocha. like you would not believe.
    love you lots xxxxx

  2. coco rocha! i love that second photo. lurve it.

  3. When i read your stories/thoughts/etc i can´t help but feel identified with you. Somehow the way you express feels familiar,like if i was the one typing those words. This huge planet feels like such small world sometimes....

  4. Gabbles, I miss those lunchtimes. They were wondderful lunchtimes, weren't they? These days lunchtimes involve me wanting to choke on an apple core (accidentally, of course) and die. Or get earplugs, perhaps.

    Danke, Shannon. :) It was pure hell trying to get that circle + the text right smack in the centre. I can't tell if I nailed it or not.

    The world is rather small these days, isn't it? Small and odd. I'm glad you feel that way -- it's most assuring to know I'm not the only one this nostalgic on Tuesday nights.

  5. Nicole you are truelly the Prince of Egypt

  6. I really like your honesty. Sounds like you're enjoying the adventure. Whereabouts did you go?